Gay marriage in Iowa: Court ruling gives hope that Illinois could follow - Many gays, lesbians willing to wait, rather than rushing to Iowa to wed

Gay marriage in Iowa: Court ruling gives hope that Illinois could follow - Many gays, lesbians willing to wait, rather than rushing to Iowa to wed
By Rex W. Huppke
Copyright © 2009, Chicago Tribune
April 29, 2009
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-gay-marriage-illinois-29-apr29,0,7527686.story


Rather than head to Iowa, many same-sex couples in Chicago who want to marry seem content to wait until they can legally wed in Illinois, demonstrating a sense of optimism about the issue once unheard of in the gay and lesbian community.

Tiffine Bourland has been with her partner, Alicia Diaz, for three years. Bourland has family in Davenport, Iowa, and was thrilled when she learned Illinois' neighbor had legalized same-sex marriages earlier this month.

She and Diaz have talked about getting married, but the more they thought about going to Iowa the more confident they became that Illinois would eventually come around.

"We got excited when we heard about Iowa because it was the first state in the Midwest," Bourland said. "But we want to wait because we're even more excited now that it might happen here."

Up to this point, few have had the confidence Bourland and Diaz share. People have flocked to Massachusetts, Connecticut and California over the last few years, hoping to wed while they had a chance.

But now many couples who waited decades for the right to marry have done so, and some of the pent-up desire across the country has been satisfied.

"I think what we're seeing now is people greeting this progress as an opportunity to do marriage the way they always envisioned it, not under the pressure caused by newness or the threat that it might, at any moment, be taken away," said Evan Wolfson, executive director of the national advocacy group Freedom To Marry. "In some sense, I think we're seeing a more normalized response on the part of gay people."

Take, for example, an event Gay Chicago Magazine held on Friday. In the front of the magazine's North Side office, couples could fill out Iowa marriage license applications, then have them notarized and sent out. But only about 25 applications were picked up and no couples filled them out on the spot.

"There are probably some people going to Iowa, but we're not finding them," said Modesto Tico Valle, executive director of the Center on Halsted. "I think people are waiting for Illinois."

It's unclear how long that wait might be. A bill to legalize civil unions, which would grant same-sex couples many of the same rights as married couples, awaits a vote in the House and would then need to clear the Senate. State Rep. Greg Harris (D-Chicago) has sponsored a gay marriage bill, but it has never made it out of committee.

Chad Gearig and Thom Howe-Duff plan on marrying in Iowa on May 14. Together for four years, the Chicago couple decided they didn't want to wait on Illinois, but they know most in their circle of friends are planning patience.

"I think a lot of people are waiting and seeing as far as what's going to happen in Illinois," Gearig said. "We don't know a lot of people rushing out there to do it, offhand."

Andrew Koppelman, a professor of law and political science at Northwestern University, said the fact that people don't seem poised to rush into Iowa to marry marks a significant moment for the gay rights movement. He said he thinks people in the gay and lesbian community have become more educated and empowered with regard to marriage and may no longer be willing to wed out of state only to see the rights that come with marriage vanish when they return home.

"It matters a lot to any social movement that you believe that you have a chance to win," Koppelman said. "There can be a strong social movement for equality, but if it meets with enough defeats it eventually runs out of steam. What has happened here is there have been steady gains in public opinion. People are confident because they've been winning."

Of course gay marriage remains legal in only four states: Iowa, Vermont, Connecticut and Massachusetts. Gay rights advocates suffered a significant setback in November when Californians voted in favor of Proposition 8, which banned gay marriage; and more than 20 states have constitutional bans on gay marriage.

Still, public opinion polls over the years have shown an increasing comfort level with same-sex marriages, and Iowa's ruling -- followed days later by the legislative decision to approve gay marriage in Vermont -- has instilled a sense in the gay and lesbian community that the tide is turning.

"You have people in Illinois and Missouri and other surrounding states who want to be married but they aren't willing to go anyplace except their own county clerk," said Rick Garcia of Equality Illinois. "They also know that the Iowa ruling is right here in the heartland, and a lot of people believe that if Iowa did it, why can't we?"

rhuppke@tribune.com