Hell's Kitchen Journal: Strange Times, Mixed Emotions

Hell's Kitchen Journal: Strange Times, Mixed Emotions
By David Mixner
Copyright By David Mixner
Apr 18 2010
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MCC The last months have provided us with some very strange times that have elicited a series of mixed emotions. The LGBT community has been reminded strongly how far we have yet to travel for freedom. Even our victories should been granted years ago and amaze me that it has taken so long.

As if we needed to be reminded, there have been a series of incidents the last couple of months that illustrate how much work needs to be done. Extraordinary Constance McMillen in Mississippi and Derrick Martin in Georgia fighting in their high schools for freedom to celebrate themselves. Constance shunned by her school and fellow students but embraced by a nation is a classic example of the mixed emotions. How horrible that she has to experience the pain, how remarkable her courage and how wonderful that our community embraced her.

Derrick got to go to the prom but lost his home. His parents (his father a 'teacher of the year') ordered him out after Alex declared his intention of taking his boyfriend to the prom in Georgia. Imagine being a young seventeen year old and finding yourself kicked out and homeless. This young man must be experiencing unbearable pain as he gives new definition to the word courage.. Again, the LGBT community has embraced him and he now has a new loving larger family.

What is sad is that these incidents are happening to young LGBT youth all over the country unknown to anyone outside their towns. Organizations like The Center, Trevor Project and The Point Foundation do their best to find them and give them hope. However, the open hatred, discrimination and hateful acts have to take an enormous emotional toll and be so scary to our young.

In addition, the community has seen a real increase in violent hate crimes. Who can forget Sean Kennedy's mother at the New York GLAAD Dinner whose son was beaten to death in South Carolina for being gay? His killer was out of jail in one year and is now walking the streets. Recently a MCC church was burned in a possible arson fire. (photograph) A bar was burned down in Mississippi in another hate action. Even in New York people coming to The Center found a burnt Gay Pride Flag on the front steps as some sort of warning. Seems like the more we struggle for freedom, the more the hate comes to the surface. Scary times.

Then there are the victories. Recently President Obama announced an order to make it illegal to deny a LGBT partner/spouse access to their loved ones in hospitals. Any of us who remember the AIDS epidemic has no problem recalling the horror stories of long time lovers being locked out of hospital rooms. Even recently we have had cases of partners being separated in their dying moments. My first reaction was a huge grin and a victory cheer. At long last the process to end this atrocity is coming to an end. Of course it has to still wind its way through the Federal bureaucracy and could take months.

To be honest though, there is a side of me that is livid. Perhaps I have been at this too long. What the fuck took so long? Just the thought that someone has to give me permission to be at the bedside of my dying partner is outrageous. This one should have been a no-brainer. Are we really supposed to jump up and down that almost three decades since the beginning of the AIDS/HIV epidemic we are allowed to be in the room? I am sorry I just can't. All it does is remind me how far we have to still go. When issues like this one are supposed to be major victories, how long will it take us to get to the big issues like ENDA, DOMA, DADT, Immigration Reform,etc?

Strange and difficult times.