Gay seniors embrace a newfound openness - 'Mr. Straight' out of closet at 61 with no regrets

Gay seniors embrace a newfound openness - 'Mr. Straight' out of closet at 61 with no regrets
By Rex W. Huppke
Copyright © 2009, Chicago Tribune
June 21, 2009
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-gay-seniors-levin-jun21,0,6495283.story


Marvin Levin was married with two children and eventually divorced, not because he was gay, but because he said that his marriage was too much work. Levin, photographed in his Northside Chicago home was was 60 years old when he came out as gay. (Chicago Tribune / June 16, 2009)

Marvin Levin was speaking to his psychiatrist in November 2003. The conversation halted briefly as Levin looked away, collecting a thought that had waited decades to surface.

"You know what?" he said, looking up at his doctor. "I'm gay."

At age 61, married more than 30 years, this was an unlikely admission.

"It was the first time I'd ever put words to that," Levin said. "It was like an epiphany. And then I looked back on my life and said, 'You dummy, of course you are.' "

Levin, now 67, grew up in Chicago, part of a conventional Jewish family. He found himself interested in the gay lifestyle -- still highly taboo at the time -- but resolved that he was "straight but curious."

Conforming to the social mores of the time, he married in his mid-20s. "I can't really say I was madly in love. This was a woman I knew and we had the same sets of values and beliefs. It seemed a good fit."

Together they had two sons, were active in their synagogue, entertained regularly and worked through the ups and downs of marriage.

"I was Mr. Straight," Levin said. "There were certain things in life that you do, and I would just go ahead and do them. I was fascinated by this other world. The gay world had this attraction. But I just never did anything with it. It was just there."

In the 1970s, Levin began suffering from depression. He went into counseling and got on medication but could never identify the source of his unhappiness. Until that day in 2003, in his psychiatrist's chair.

"My wife at first was shocked," he said. "But she was also glad I'd finally figured out why at times I was non-functional. She's a wonderful woman and was very supportive of me through all of this."

They separated and were eventually divorced, and Levin felt the uncertainty of entering a life in which he had no gay friends and no inkling of gay culture. He got involved with a seniors program at the Center on Halsted, and with baby steps became the proud and comfortable gay man he had never let himself be.

"The center gave me a connection to people, people who were older like I am and going through many of the same emotions and fears. Now there's my life before I came out and my life afterward. The person I was before and the person I am now, they're two different people."

Levin refuses to look back and wonder what kind of relationships he might've had or how his world might be different. He looks only to the pictures of his grandchildren that grace an end table in his North Side condominium.

"There are some people who exist on this Earth who wouldn't have existed were it not for the way I lived my life," Levin said. "Yes, life would've been different for me if I'd done this earlier. But I don't regret it. Not at all."

He paused for a moment, smiling: "I'm just glad that I figured it out."

rhuppke@tribune.com